Sexy in Secondlife

Do you have being found good sex club? This is my friend create the sex club in SL: "SERIOUS CHAT", and I hope you could love it ....

Well, happy day, everyone, and greetings from somewhere around week 6 of my existence now within the alternate reality known as Second Life (or SL). And hmm, here's some fun news concerning SL that I have to share; that after a month and a half now of exploring the scene and making friends, this weekend finally saw me hosting my own first group sexual event, a special SL version of "Truth or Dare," that ended up having maybe 20 participants or so over the course of the night. And what's more, the event went fantastically as well -- even better than I was hoping for it to go, and I was hoping for it to go pretty well indeed.

So anyway, I thought I'd spend a little time today telling you what happened, and why I consider it such a success, and what I'll be doing in the near future to hopefully capitalize on this success. But first, just a brief recap, for those who might be visiting for the very first time today -- and I know my regular readers are sick of reading this recap, so I'll try to make it as short as possible...

For those who don't know, I've been writing online about sex now for about seven years; most of that merely as one of many subjects I talk about here at my goofy free journal, but also with a year as a professional columnist for a British magazine that's no longer being published, as well as my infamously loved-or-hated 2002 book about the Chicago swinging community, Slut Summer. And I've also thrown a series of group adult parties myself here in Chicago over the years as well, although admittedly not for awhile now, which have all been unusual in nature, and have attracted a series of nerdy and hot literate lovers, most of whom have seemed to enjoy them.

And so when I found out that sexual activities are in fact quite prevalent within SL as well, plus that people there can actually make decent real-life (or RL) money simply hosting fun events there, I decided that I might just take a shot at it myself; to try to open my own sex club in the grid, that is, one offering a lot more than most of the current ones do, to the point that some people will eventually volunteer to pay an extra US$10 a month, to access its expanded "VIP" program. (And yes, I'm finally getting around to detailing the second half of the club's plan today; see below.)

But of course, this kind of stuff works in SL just like it does in RL; that is, you can't just go out and open a high-end club your first month in a new city, and expect people to immediately start forking over cash. Why would anyone pay $10 a month, after all, to belong to a private sex club, if there are no other people at the private sex club to actually hang out with? And who the fuck am I, really, to be charging people such an outrageous amount of money in the first place?

Why should anyone pay that kind of money to someone who hasn't even proven that such a thing is worth it? Like I said, it's just like opening a high-end club in RL as well, one that depends mostly on word-of-mouth for its success; that you'll never attract people to the club until you already have a group of fun, sexy people already going to the club. And you'll never get that first core group until you've proven to them that they'll actually have fun at the club in the first place.
So that's what I'm in the process of doing, in fact, from now until January 2007 when my sex club is set to open; I'm building that first core set of sexy, smart customers, so that when the club is finally ready to open, there will be a great full crowd of people even the very first night.

And the way I've decided to put this group together is fairly easy; I'm simply going to start holding events, every three weeks or so, each with a different theme, slowly picking up a group of regulars through the people I meet randomly, their friends, excited strangers who hear about it from a third party, etc. It's putting my money where my mouth is, basically, which really is the best way to start a new small business; simply go out and prove to people that you know what the fuck you're talking about, and they'll naturally start believing in your plans as well, trust me.

Now of course, let's not forget the whole point of my eventual club, which I've gone on at length about here before; to specifically attract the highly literate, over-educated, smarmy little slacker dirty talkers of the grid, people just like me. Oh, you know what I'm talking about -- the ones reading Nerve every day already, and Fleshbot, and Boing Boing for that matter, who worship such edgy erotica writers as Poppy Z. Brite and Dennis Cooper, who may have even done a little modeling themselves in the past, for Suicide Girls or I Shot Myself or Abby Winters or whoever.

These are the people, I'm theorizing, who have the most to gain from what I'm trying to do with my own club; the other kinds of lovers here, after all, can have all the fun they want at the various free clubs that already exist. I'm working off the theory right now that it is these people who are most likely to spend ten bucks a month to belong to a sex club like mine, which is why I'm mainly targeting them while there.

So what I've done, then, is name my group "Serious Chat," just to give everyone a concrete idea from the get-go of what exact type of people the group is slanted towards. And basically what I'll be doing from now until January is simply producing a series of free events through the group, held at a semi-private skybox floating above an existing sex club there called Celestia. (I lucked out, as a matter of fact -- turns out that Matt and Parker, the owners of Celestia, are just as big of fans of this kind of stuff as I am, to the point of volunteering to host my events, and even volunteering to build the skybox, so that lag time would be lower than on ground level.)

And then there's the key to the whole thing, is the promise I'm making to everyone right now -- that anyone who gets regularly involved with the free events at this point, will eventually receive a free lifetime VIP membership to my club when it opens. And this is literally worth US$100 a year (around 60 pounds, 80 euros), which is a fairly serious motivation for getting involved and staying involved. And the more people who get involved, the more who will start to have a fun time; who will start telling their fellow literate lovers and friends; who will start coming to events themselves; that will hopefully lead to this very sexy, very dedicated group of 30 or 40 core members by the time the club opens.

So, what kinds of events does a group like "Serious Chat" hold anyway? Well, three different kinds, basically...

--First there are events like last night, which I call "storytelling" ones; where the point is for everyone to talk about sex but not necessarily act like they're having sex. This is what makes such party games as "Truth or Dare" or "I Never" such hits in RL, after all, is that people have a chance to be sexual in front of a group of strangers, without going to the extreme of actually having sex in front of a group of strangers.

--Then there are the "roleplaying" events, which is pretty much the opposite; where the whole point is to chat as if you actually are having sex, just like is so popular among existing cyberers not only here but on IM services like AIM and Yahoo. Now, of course, this being me and this being SL, I'm going to be holding a whole series of interestingly themed roleplaying events instead of just general ones -- BDSM events, for example, gender-bending ones, ones just for various taboo fantasies (watersports, forced homoeroticism, etc).

--And then I'm also occasionally going to be throwing what I call "mesh" events, definitely not for everyone in the grid, specifically for people who enjoy mixing their real life into the whole thing a little. And like the other two types of events, mesh events will exist as a series of themes as well -- so maybe an evening, for example, where people must post a RL dirty photo of themselves in their profile in order to participate; or where instead of text chatting, everyone actually talks dirty together as a group via Skype conference call.

So like I said, my first one was this last Saturday, an event called "Extreme Truth or Dare;" just like the RL version, except with no question considered off-limits, and with questions directed towards in-game avatars and their desires, not the RL people playing them and their desires. Because these can actually be quite different, for those who don't know; that is, there are a whole lot of people here now who in RL are fairly quiet, fairly unassuming people (middle-aged suburban housewives, for example), but who in SL are these sexual monsters, into things like getting beaten up while being fucked, taking strangers by force, and other scenarios that would horrify them if actually tried in the real world.

It's important, I think, to make this distinction clear at the beginning of such events; that when a person answers a question in a certain way, even if you know the RL identity behind that person, you should never assume that that's what that person would actually want to try in RL. And then, see, if you don't want to answer a particular question, you can always choose dare; at which point the darer gets to pick a random person from the group, who you must actually stand with in the middle of a circle and fuck for 60 seconds, talking dirty by yourself for the rest of the group to watch and jerk off to, on whatever twisted little perverted topic the darer wants to come up with.

And how did I find the people to invite to this first event? Oh, that's super easy -- I simply went out and fucked a bunch of strangers, a good 30 or 40 my first six weeks, then sent an invitation to the 20 or so I most enjoyed having sex with. (Like RL, this is the simplest way to get people to go to a group sexual event; simply prove that you're a good lover beforehand.) And here's something that was surprising, although not really; that out of the 20 or so people I invited, a good 13 of them actually said they'd attend, a much higher ratio than any of the RL events I've thrown over the years.

I detailed this in Slut Summer, in fact; how no matter who you are, even if you're a good-looking single woman, you still have to deal with around 20 rejections for every one random swinger you end up having an actual good experience with. So yeah, whenever I want to throw an event with 10 people in RL, I end up having to invite over 200 people to find them; so it was quite nice, needless to say, to only have to do that kind of work with 20 people in the case of the grid, because of the lessened intensity of sex there and therefore the willingness of more people to engage in this stuff.

Now of course, that's not all there is to it; you still have to keep track of all these people, constantly send them reminders, constantly be asking them if they can give you a firm yes or no commitment yet, constantly reminding them that yes, they do have the email explaining what will be happening, okay, yes, I will send it to you again, but don't forget this time not to delete it. But then this was another fairly amazing thing that happened as well; that of the 13 people who gave first commitments, almost 10 of them actually ended up showing up over the course of the evening.

Wow! Man, this is so different than how it works in RL; how even if you get 10 people to say yes, they will definitely and utterly be there, you can still only expect about half of them to actually show up. Which I was explaining to people there at the event on Saturday, those who seemed disappointed at first that only six people were there at the start; because I think a lot of beginning swingers simply don't understand just how much rejection is involved, of how six people actually showing up to a thing like that is something to be celebrated, not be disappointed by.

Because see, I knew what was going to happen; that not only was that small group going to end up really enjoying themselves, as often happens in unexpectedly intimate get-togethers, but that other people would be eventually joining us as the evening progressed. And this is partly because of circumstance, of course; that is, because of it being so easy to hop from place to place in the grid via teleport, which tends to keep people popping in and out of environments on a very quick basis. And then it was partly by design, too; that is, I purposely asked Matt and Parker to build the skybox without a roof, so that any stranger who came by could pop in and check things out too, with some of them undoubtedly becoming intrigued by that legitimately good group of initial players, and sticking around themselves.

Nonetheless, though, some people did get bored and ported out; and new people stopped by and got intrigued; and some people who were there before and went away came back; so that by the time an hour had passed, we had gone from 5 men and 1 woman, to 5 women and 3 men. And that was just good enough a mix to get started, which is what we did; and ooh man, talk about a good example of what being picky can get you.

Because when you have the right group of people at something like that, things just turn very dirty and fun very quickly, like exactly what happened on Saturday; with everyone seeming to get the point of the whole thing, which is that it's okay to ask outrageously graphic questions of others in the grid, because ultimately we're all cartoon characters anyway, so why the fuck not? And so that quickly led to questions starting to get asked like, "What sexual fantasy of yours would most make your nonsexual friends go, 'Eww?'" and "What fantasy have you always wanted to try, that you still haven't gotten up the courage to talk about with a partner?"

And again, just like my RL events, I managed to pull off something that makes a lot of people amazed; to bring together straight men, straight women, gay men, lesbians and bisexuals, all in one group event, with everyone still managing to have fun and get off by the end of the evening. And I don't know, I'm not sure how I manage to pull that off; just keeping the events smart, I guess, and of a theme where people of different orientations can still manage to get each other turned on.

And in the case of this grid event, of course, this aspect of it was even more fun; because all the gay people there, of course, kept wanting to goad the straight people into admitting that they'd had homoerotic experiences in their past (which a lot of straight people have, frankly, even in SL, or maybe specifically because of SL). And so that led to a lot of funny questions on the subject over the course of the evening; and anytime someone would respond that they had never even had a fantasy about it, all the gay and bi people there would groan and laugh and yell, "Liar!" and goad them on to admit the truth; until the point where most would end up admitting (like one person actually did that night, for example), that well, in fact, he'd actually had this threeway once, where the other guy and he scooted in real close together, so that they were touching each other's bodies all the way up and down, while a woman wedged herself in between them and fucked them both at the same time.

And how he hadn't mentioned it to either of the other people, but yeah, if you're going to keep fuckin' goading him like this, he did get turned on a certain amount, knowing that that other guy and he were laying there rubbing all up and down against each other, as this woman fucked them both at the same time.

Hot! Nasty! Funny! A lot of stuff that night, frankly, that would make people both laugh a lot out loud, and also admit that they were getting awfully turned on by it all. Which of course is what the best rounds of Truth Or Dare are always supposed to be about; a way for people to have fun and laugh a lot, while also legitimately getting aroused over what's being said. And then of course as payback, the straight people kept asking the gay people all kinds of outrageous questions as well; so that, for example, a lesbian who was attending the event, who apparently is a quiet and traditional lesbian in RL, admitted that she gets unbelievably turned on by going "cruising" in the grid for anonymous random partners, something she would never in a million years go do out in the real world.

And then this of course got people throwing follow-up questions at her, which got her admitting all kinds of related interesting things: that yes, it is quite difficult to go cruising for random women versus men, even in the grid; that part of the problem is that there are simply a lot less women interested in that stuff; that partly it's because of all the RL men running around here as women, which she can always detect about halfway through the sex act, which frustrates her to no end.

Ugh! Nasty! I love it! Like I said, this was probably the most fun thing about it all; of all these strangers coming together, sharing these very quiet secrets, talking plainly about things that they don't usually even discuss with lovers. I ended up admitting, for example, that I love having sex in the grid as a woman nearly as much as a man; another person admitted that she loves giving up control in the grid, which is why she's a radical slave here, despite being both a dom and a Type-A personality in RL. But at the same time, it was all these fun and very well-spoken people as well, who knew how to inject both humor and seriousness into their stories, who followed up with related questions just long enough to get everyone really aroused, then relinquishing control to the next challenger.

And hey, we even had two people end up choosing dare over the course of the evening! And wow, ask me how fucking hot that was; after an hour of all this dirty prurient talk, of seeing a couple of naked people actually jump up and start fucking in front of everyone, the girl maybe telling us how much she loves that giant cock being slowly forced down her throat, the boy maybe telling us how much he's turned on, that the darer asked the woman to sit on top of him, specifically so the lesbians in the crowd could get off watching her boobs swing back and forth. It was just enough explicit sexuality, you know, to exactly punctuate the majority of storytelling that was otherwise going on.

So anyway, the event ended up lasting much longer than I expected; four and a half hours, in fact, when it was originally scheduled for two, with in fact some people still playing when I finally had to call it a night myself. And like I said, maybe about 20 people altogether ended up playing for at least a little bit, over the course of those four and a half hours; and so that's a nice little base, I think, by which to build a group for the next event. Oh, do you want to hear about the next events, by the way? I'm accepting RSVPs as we speak...

--In three weeks, for example, I'll be holding an event again at the Celestia skybox called "Jack and Jill" -- an event I've actually thrown in RL, actually, and one made infamous by an acquaintance of mine named Carol Queen, out in San Francisco during the 1990s. It'll basically be a roleplaying event -- a traditional orgy, to be specific, where a whole group of people all do get naked together and act like they're having sex -- except in this case with all actual activity limited to hands touching genitals, not only your own but also others. And this turns out to be a fun way for many straight people to add just a little homoeroticism in their lives; because it's not like you're having heavy-duty sex, merely jerking somebody off like you would to yourself normally, often in the context of having a straight partner jerk you off at the same time, while that third person jerks them off, completing a dirty little group chain.

--Then in six weeks, I'm holding a very specific kind of event, not for everyone, called "Gender Bender" -- where RL men show up as female avs, RL women as males. Will you pick the same kind of partner as you do as the other gender? If you're a lesbian, will you still have sex with women when you're a man? Doesn't that then make you straight? But if you have sex with another man while rezzed as a man, doesn't that suddenly make you a gay man? Hmm, complicated and dirty; I hope I'll be able to find at least five or six people who will be into this.

--And then in nine weeks, my first BDSM event, called "Toys and Owners." And this was purposely designed to steer clear of the traditional BDSM community, for those who simply have an interest but not the time to learn all the rituals and special terms; where some people simply designate themselves as "toys" when they arrive, others as "owners," with the owners having the right to simply grab one of the toys over the course of the evening, making them their "fucktoy," with the toy pretty much having to do whatever the owner tells them to. It's a power-exchange event, if you see my point; where the main point's not really the whips or leather or collars, but rather the giving up of control to another person, or the opportunity to take control from another. This is something that a surprising amount of people have a RL interest in, I'm learning in the grid; simply that most never act on it, because of the legitimate dangers involved with doing such things in the real world.

So anyway, that's it; my very happy report about what I consider a very successful first event. Remember, there are a number of ways to learn about the latest, or to respond to invitations yourself: simply IM me (Miller Copeland) while you're in the grid; or email me at ilikejason [at] gmail [dot] com; or join my public group, "Gridhopping," while there; or simply keep reading my RL website, located at jasonpettus.com. I look forward to hearing from all you perverted little fuckers.
***
Well, okay, sorry, this entry has gone on so long already; I promise, soon I'll finally finish up telling the rest of my plan for my upcoming sex club. I'm leaving out the most interesting part of it all, as a matter of fact; the full-fledged website I'm going to open, that is, one that will work exactly like Nerve Personals but just for avatars (and their RL counterparts if they want), with a central blog that will not only distribute news about the club, but also publish "avrotica" -- dirty stories and 'machima' (computer-generated video), written and directed by members, set entirely within the grid. Ooh, and not only that, but even a yearly weekend get-together in Chicago, for any VIP member who wants to go, hopefully a little nerd version of a weekend in Vegas, where once a year people will let their hair down and actually have hot RL sex with random strangers (or at least people they only knew before as cartoon characters). Hmm, hmm, hmm. But anyway, like I said, much more on this soon.

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